


Kill it with Fire

by otppurefuckingmagic



Series: Malec Tumblr Prompts [8]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec can't say no to Magnus about anything, Alternative pest control, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 00:43:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6400897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otppurefuckingmagic/pseuds/otppurefuckingmagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From this prompt:</p>
<p>Person A: “There’s a spider in the bathroom.”</p>
<p>Person B: “You didn’t kill it?”</p>
<p>Person A: “I was waiting for you to get home.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kill it with Fire

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Italiano available: [Kill It With Fire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6635200) by [Katerina_Hummel_Di_Angelo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katerina_Hummel_Di_Angelo/pseuds/Katerina_Hummel_Di_Angelo)



> i needed something to pass the time while waiting a literal eternity for this damn episode tonight. so malec and spiders it is. idek anymore.

Alec paced by the windows and threw a suspicious glance toward the bathroom, seriously contemplating how mad Magnus would be if he came home to find the loft burned to the ground.

Honestly, it would be Magnus’ fault if that _did_ happen. Alec had been calling him for over an hour, and Magnus wasn’t picking up his phone or returning his texts. Alec was in crisis–a very  _serious_ crisis–and his boyfriend wasn’t anywhere to be found.

Whenever Magnus did come home he’d find Alec cowering from the bathroom as if death was about to rain down on him. No matter how much shame he felt in the moment, his fear was stronger. Alec wouldn’t take his eyes off that room. He couldn’t allow that _thing_ to escape.

Just as Alec was googling how long it took spiders to reproduce–because he was sure this stalemate was tripping perilously close to breeding season lengths of time–the front door opened and Magnus slid inside, heading for the kitchen without sparing a glance in Alec’s direction.

Alec scowled. He couldn’t follow Magnus, because that would be getting way too close to the bathroom. “Why haven’t you called me back?”

Magnus swiveled on his heel, facing Alec with a smile. “I didn’t realize you were home. Good afternoon to you too, Alexander.”

“There is nothing good about it. Nothing.” Alec crossed his arms–trying to appear tougher than he currently was–and tipped his chin up, toward the bathroom. “I needed you to call me back. Because of…that.”

Magnus pointed over his shoulder, then arched his eyebrow in silent question.

“Yes, that. In there,” Alec answered.

Alec had to give Magnus credit–he didn’t hesitate. “What exactly am I looking for, darling?” Magnus asked, his voice muffled by the wall that now separated them.

Alec clamped his eyes shut, trying not to think about the eight legs of terror that had knocked ten years off his life when he went in to brush his teeth. “In the sink.”

There was the clank of cans and bottles tumbling to the floor then something that sounded suspiciously like an _eep_ , but Magnus was back under control when he spoke. “Oh, well. That is quite large. It looks like one of those jumpy things they have in Peru.”

“It jumps!?” Alec bellowed then retreated, closer to the windows and as far away from any jump radius he could estimate from his nightmares.

Magnus peeked his head out the door and shrugged. “Not far. _If_ I remember right.”

“You are not helping, Magnus.”

Magnus disappeared inside the bathroom again. “Is now the time for me to remind you that you kill demons. For a living.”

“It is never the time for that. And this is not a demon, it’s a creepy ass, spindly thing invading my space.”

“ _Our_ space,” Magnus replied.

“It’s about to be _nobody’s_ space,” Alec growled, “because I am going to kill that thing _with fire_.”

“You are aware, my dearest,” Magnus said, still in the bathroom, “that I can simply portal it somewhere else in the city.”

Alec’s mouth gaped and he erupted from the strain of his standoff. “Why the fuck do you think I’ve been calling you for the last hour? Of course I know that!”

Magnus was quiet for a moment, then he poked his head outside the door again. His eyes had gone soft. “Oh, Alexander. You don’t want to kill it at all do you?”

Alec stiffened, going defensive. “I do. I want it dead. All kinds of…dead.”

“You don’t.”

Alec sighed. Of course Magnus would understand what the real problem was here. “I really don’t. But I can’t share oxygen with that thing. I can’t.”

Magnus tapped his fingers against the door, sending a shower of blue sparks to the floor. “Do spiders breathe?”

Alec scrunched up his brow. “I don’t know. I’ll Google it later. That’s besides the point, though.”

“The point being what exactly?”

“I can’t kill it but I don’t want it to be”–Alec swirled his hand in the general direction of the bathroom–”here anymore. Help me.”

Magnus held up one finger and reentered the bathroom. “He’s rather beautiful.”

Alec narrowed his eyes, immediately catching on to where Magnus was going with this. “No, Magnus. Absolutely not.”

“What?” Magnus asked innocently. Way too innocently.

“You are _not_ keeping that thing.”

“I could name him Peter Parkour. For the obvious reason, of course, and because he jumps.”

Alec pinched the bridge of his nose. “This is not happening.”

“Well I suppose Spiderman jumps as well…” Magnus continued, ignoring Alec’s mumbling.

“Magnus! No!”

Magnus emerged and strode up to Alec, setting his hands on Alec’s biceps and tipping his head back so his doe-eyes were in full effect. “If I portal it away who knows what it’s chances are. It could be eaten by bird or squashed by a meaty foot of a construction worker. At least he’s safe in here…”

Alec groaned. He couldn’t say no to Magnus when he looked like that. It was like saying no to Izzy when she called him big brother. He had no chance. No chance at all. “Fine. Keep it. In fact, keep every spider that shows up here. Just magic up an escape-proof cage and make sure they come nowhere near me.”

Magnus smiled and stood on his tip-toes to brush a soft kiss on Alec’s lips. “Have I told you that I love you today, Alexander?”

Alec scowled at him, even though he was feeling anything but annoyed when Magnus looked so happy. “I’m going to need more than verbal platitudes to make me okay with this.”

Magnus seemed to be considering this. “Oral?”

Alec smirked and dragged Magnus toward the bedroom. “Deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on tumblr @otppurefuckingmagic ♡ xx


End file.
